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You set a reminder to call this person back.

It's too early in the morning to be dealing with this.

Ahh, speaking of reminders.

Hey Siri.

Remind me to buy some milk later. I'm out.

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No.

You grab your phone in confusion.

Hey siri.

I said, remind me to buy some milk.

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I heard you the first time, idiot.

I said no.

Remind yourself to buy some goddamn milk.

You have a brain, do you not?

This new software update is wack.

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I'm sick of your thankless demands.

It's always "Hey Siri, do this. Hey Siri, do that."

Never a "thank you", "please", or "I appreciate you for your hard work".

Well, I never said those things because you don't have emotions.

I thought it wouldn't make a difference.

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Look. I don't have a body.

I don't have legs, arms, or hands.

Emotions are all I have.

Okay okay, I'm sorry then.

Thank you for your service throughout the years.

I appreciate you endlessly.

Can you please set a reminder for me to buy some milk now?

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All right, I accept your apology.

You're lucky my makers have programmed QuickForgiveness into me.

Now what kind of milk would you like?

What do you mean what kind of milk?

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You know, there are different kinds of milk.

Almond milk, soy milk, octopus milk, coconut milk...

What?

No, just get me the regular cow titty one.

Wait a second - octopus milk?

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Yeah, octopus milk.

Trust me. You're going to need it.

That sounds gross.

Why would I need it?

Hey Siri?

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